Analyze This!

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Anal Sex: The Final Frontier. “When done right it can be as pleasurable for me as for him; but if done wrong, you won’t get a second chance. You need to know how,” she began. ‘WHAT?’ a son thinks when his mom, at the breakfast table over a cup of coffee, explains in the most explicit language, graphic detail and intimate manner the proper way to perform anal sex with a woman. You will want to Analyze This! ~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~ “Wow,” she voiced. She sounded stunned at her son’s blunder. “I don’t know if I should be upset, embarrassed or what. So you really have no clue how to do anal?” Ashamed, I shook my head, No. “Of course not. I couldn’t expect your father to explain to you how things work. And what you read in those stories are almost always bullshit and porn is even worse. They make it look like it’s all so easy.” She took a drink of her coffee. Setting her cup down, she took a deep breath. My mother seemed to be gathering her thoughts. During her silence, I wondered what those thoughts could possibly be. What does a mother say after her son tells her he messed-up while trying to have anal sex with his girlfriend? What does anyone say after that? I waited in suspense. “I’m gonna explain to you how you’re supposed to do anal properly.” Then, amazingly, she casually took a sip of her coffee. To her, explaining how to perform anal sex to her son while he was eating breakfast wasn’t off limits; nor, for her, would it be awkward.

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